not your (my) own doing
We've been spending some time at church lately talking about Martin Luther and his path toward recognizing that salvation was a gift from God and not something he could earn -- as one does when one is Lutheran and it's Reformation Day tomorrow (and here you thought it was just Halloween).
Luther struggled with confession of sins for a number of reasons, but partly because he was endlessly concerned about not being sorry enough. Contrition was/is an essential component of confession, and how, Luther pondered, could he know whether he was sorry enough? He was sorry, after all, but was he missing something he should be sorry for? Had he attained an adequate degree of contrition? Could he feel sorrier than he already was, and if so, did his comparative lack of sorry-ness set him on a path toward pugatory (or worse)?
One can see how quickly this winds up becoming a big ball of angst.
Eventually (thank heavens -- literally) Luther realized two things: 1) we can't ever be sorry enough; and 2) salvation isn't up to us. We are human, we are imperfect, we're going to screw up, and miraculously, God loves us anyway. We do not earn God's grace -- God's grace is a freely given gift. We are saved through faith and faith alone, and even faith is a gift from God and not something we achieve.
Whew.
I was reminded of all this when I came across Matthew 21:22 again this morning: "Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive." This particular passage comes just after a fruitless fig tree offended Jesus -- with mortal consequences. Jesus' disciples are amazed that a few words from Jesus make the fig tree wither, and he explains that through faith they can accomplish far greater achievements than that.
This verse tends to trip me up because my first reaction is, inevitably, "crud... how do I achieve that level of faith? I don't have enough faith! Way too much doubt in me ever to make this work..." I'm living through a period of some significant uncertainty, and my already-extant vocational questions were compounded last night by the latest permutations of plans on the part of our local school district to "rebalance enrollment" in a way that may directly impact my daughter. I'm feeling like a big ball of angst already, and now Jesus is telling me that I need to muster enough faith to pray effectively.
Uff da.
Thank goodness Uncle Marty is in my corner.
Because you see, my thinking is right in line with Luther's angst about contrition. He was worried about feeling sorry enough. I'm worried about having faith enough. And the thing is, as Luther eventually recognized and then spent the rest of his life preaching, I'm not the one in charge. I don't "accomplish" faith; faith is God's gift through grace. Faith isn't my achievement; faith is me getting out of the way and trusting in God to do what God has promised.
Vocations and school boundaries, and whatever is causing you angst this day -- all this is fodder for prayer dependent not on our capabilities but upon the ability of God to offer grace. From the doubt-iest prayer to the most fervent plea, God hears it all. This is news I find profoundly encouraging.
Luther struggled with confession of sins for a number of reasons, but partly because he was endlessly concerned about not being sorry enough. Contrition was/is an essential component of confession, and how, Luther pondered, could he know whether he was sorry enough? He was sorry, after all, but was he missing something he should be sorry for? Had he attained an adequate degree of contrition? Could he feel sorrier than he already was, and if so, did his comparative lack of sorry-ness set him on a path toward pugatory (or worse)?
One can see how quickly this winds up becoming a big ball of angst.
Eventually (thank heavens -- literally) Luther realized two things: 1) we can't ever be sorry enough; and 2) salvation isn't up to us. We are human, we are imperfect, we're going to screw up, and miraculously, God loves us anyway. We do not earn God's grace -- God's grace is a freely given gift. We are saved through faith and faith alone, and even faith is a gift from God and not something we achieve.
Whew.
I was reminded of all this when I came across Matthew 21:22 again this morning: "Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive." This particular passage comes just after a fruitless fig tree offended Jesus -- with mortal consequences. Jesus' disciples are amazed that a few words from Jesus make the fig tree wither, and he explains that through faith they can accomplish far greater achievements than that.
This verse tends to trip me up because my first reaction is, inevitably, "crud... how do I achieve that level of faith? I don't have enough faith! Way too much doubt in me ever to make this work..." I'm living through a period of some significant uncertainty, and my already-extant vocational questions were compounded last night by the latest permutations of plans on the part of our local school district to "rebalance enrollment" in a way that may directly impact my daughter. I'm feeling like a big ball of angst already, and now Jesus is telling me that I need to muster enough faith to pray effectively.
Uff da.
Thank goodness Uncle Marty is in my corner.
Because you see, my thinking is right in line with Luther's angst about contrition. He was worried about feeling sorry enough. I'm worried about having faith enough. And the thing is, as Luther eventually recognized and then spent the rest of his life preaching, I'm not the one in charge. I don't "accomplish" faith; faith is God's gift through grace. Faith isn't my achievement; faith is me getting out of the way and trusting in God to do what God has promised.
Vocations and school boundaries, and whatever is causing you angst this day -- all this is fodder for prayer dependent not on our capabilities but upon the ability of God to offer grace. From the doubt-iest prayer to the most fervent plea, God hears it all. This is news I find profoundly encouraging.
Comments
Post a Comment