greener grass
The kid has constructed a small town on her bedroom floor. In the middle? "That's the church... and this is the pastor!" (Holds up a small Belle doll.) The church in the center, anchoring the community. It's an interesting glimpse into her little world.
I hadn't looked up our old church in Culver City, CA in years, but it popped into my head a couple weeks ago and this morning I finally remembered to type "Grace Lutheran Church Culver City" into Google. As is wont to happen with nonprofit Web sites, it's a little outdated, but the most recent newsletter was only a few months old and there were plenty of fun pictures from the past couple years. Same pastor; many of the same people, although there must have been some new growth and/or new babies to account for the children who look to be right around my daughter's age (she was born a year after we moved back to Oregon).
Grace was constructed very intentionally in the 1940s to be the anchor of a community, in the older model of a congregation in a neighborhood with minimal parking -- a bit of a bummer these days, of course, but still a nice idea. It's in a lovely middle-class neighborhood. If the housing prices hadn't been so astronomical in the years we lived in Los Angeles (2001-2005), we would have loved to have bought one of the cute little mid-century ranch homes. My longing to return to the Northwest was very strong, but it's impossible to predict what would have happened under slightly different circumstances.
I am afflicted quite strongly -- as I'm sure many of us are -- with grass-is-greener-itis. Los Angeles was a place I was desperate to leave. I continue to believe that Newberg's a better place to raise a young girl. If we were still down in southern California I would deeply miss my family. I would never have met my deepest and dearest friends, people who have enriched my life in countless ways. I know I am meant to be here, and most of the time I am able to be as truly grateful as I should be. And yet: I do miss my dear friends in Los Angeles, wonderful people with whom I've shared so much. I sometimes miss the dynamism of the place. The opportunities for someone with my training, while still very limited, would certainly be greater. Proximity to Disneyland is nothing to sneeze at. :-) And Grace, too, was a special place, with good people, wonderful programs and a spirit that demonstrated how fully God is present in cities as well as small towns -- and even within a few blocks of Sony Pictures Studios!
When I become frustrated by my lack of job prospects and my feelings of ennui, concerned about fulfilling my "destiny" (whatever that might be) and feeling like I'm meant to be doing something very different, L.A. with all its foibles becomes more appealing. It's at times like these that I'd do well to heed the words of James. They apply so well to grass-is-greener-itis that I hope they can be a helpful challenge and reminder to others as well as to me:
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money." Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to live and say, "If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that."
--James 4:13-15
A little harsh, perhaps, but there's comfort in knowing there's something bigger at work. I'm one person, living one life. There's a bigger plan at work, created by a bigger mind than mine. If I can let go and trust, than I'll be living the life God intends for me -- wherever, whenever, doing whatever I'm meant to be doing. Amen.
I hadn't looked up our old church in Culver City, CA in years, but it popped into my head a couple weeks ago and this morning I finally remembered to type "Grace Lutheran Church Culver City" into Google. As is wont to happen with nonprofit Web sites, it's a little outdated, but the most recent newsletter was only a few months old and there were plenty of fun pictures from the past couple years. Same pastor; many of the same people, although there must have been some new growth and/or new babies to account for the children who look to be right around my daughter's age (she was born a year after we moved back to Oregon).
Grace was constructed very intentionally in the 1940s to be the anchor of a community, in the older model of a congregation in a neighborhood with minimal parking -- a bit of a bummer these days, of course, but still a nice idea. It's in a lovely middle-class neighborhood. If the housing prices hadn't been so astronomical in the years we lived in Los Angeles (2001-2005), we would have loved to have bought one of the cute little mid-century ranch homes. My longing to return to the Northwest was very strong, but it's impossible to predict what would have happened under slightly different circumstances.
I am afflicted quite strongly -- as I'm sure many of us are -- with grass-is-greener-itis. Los Angeles was a place I was desperate to leave. I continue to believe that Newberg's a better place to raise a young girl. If we were still down in southern California I would deeply miss my family. I would never have met my deepest and dearest friends, people who have enriched my life in countless ways. I know I am meant to be here, and most of the time I am able to be as truly grateful as I should be. And yet: I do miss my dear friends in Los Angeles, wonderful people with whom I've shared so much. I sometimes miss the dynamism of the place. The opportunities for someone with my training, while still very limited, would certainly be greater. Proximity to Disneyland is nothing to sneeze at. :-) And Grace, too, was a special place, with good people, wonderful programs and a spirit that demonstrated how fully God is present in cities as well as small towns -- and even within a few blocks of Sony Pictures Studios!
When I become frustrated by my lack of job prospects and my feelings of ennui, concerned about fulfilling my "destiny" (whatever that might be) and feeling like I'm meant to be doing something very different, L.A. with all its foibles becomes more appealing. It's at times like these that I'd do well to heed the words of James. They apply so well to grass-is-greener-itis that I hope they can be a helpful challenge and reminder to others as well as to me:
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money." Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to live and say, "If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that."
--James 4:13-15
A little harsh, perhaps, but there's comfort in knowing there's something bigger at work. I'm one person, living one life. There's a bigger plan at work, created by a bigger mind than mine. If I can let go and trust, than I'll be living the life God intends for me -- wherever, whenever, doing whatever I'm meant to be doing. Amen.
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